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We love Summer! Days of lazing at the beach, presents shared with friends and family (in the Southern hemisphere at least… it’s Christmas, you see). A couple of weeks off work, and the usual winding down after a tough year (especially this one).
But wait… the kids have 6 weeks, yep SIX WEEKS, off school! How quickly the anticipation of the fun of summer is lost in the pressured rush of figuring out child care, camps, and whether or not a vacation is financially possible this year. But it’s important to think, for a moment, about what opportunities summer does bring, so let’s focus on the positive for the time being…
There are chances to play more fully.
As one child psychologist, Patty Wipfler, once said “… for children, the chance to play all day, every day is a wonderful thing”. In our household, the need for a protracted period of time with no pressure of school is abundantly clear! Our little one looks like she is in dire need of some free time, where she has nothing to perform for, except by her own choosing.
Personally I’m looking forward to those water fights in the garden, playing hide and seek, building cubbies and staying at the park or the beach until it’s dark (or too cold to stay in the water!). As far as I’m concerned, these are the things I look forward to; the kinds of play that don’t require electricity, or expensive purchases and that just need a bit of imagination and playful attitude to make a success.
There are chances to learn in unusual ways.
When you have a toddler nearly ready to use the toilet, you can allow him or her to roam the back yard naked, learning to master bodily functions in a place where there can be no “accident.” If your child is afraid of the dark, you can set up a tent in the garden and sleep outside, to see what it’s like to spend the night under the light of the moon. And what better time than these Summer holidays to address fears of the water. Summer means that fresh new things can happen, usual boundaries can flex, and parents can relax a bit more around play that one wouldn’t allow when life has to be more structured.
What happens when you run out of ideas?
OK, some summer days can lose their sparkle. There are always going to be occasions when you aren’t feeling as enthused as usual or when your child feels listless, and says they are bored. You’ll notice that there actually are things they could do, and people they could play with, but they are missing that sense of adventure that can turn a simple piece of paper and a scissors into an experiment with hat making, or airplane crafting, or cut out design. The feeling inside of them is actually the problem, not any lack of things to do.
So rather than become irritated that they don’t appreciate all the things they have, or all the time you’ve spent trying to make them happy, move in close. Lie down with them, or next to them. Don’t try to solve the problem of what to do, but instead be happy that you can just stay at home and enjoy each other’s company for a while. If you want, after just being with them for a while, you can begin suggesting things that you could do. Any idea (silly or serious) will do. You’re not trying to solve the problem of what to do. You’re trying to get a bit of laughter going, and then a bit more, and then even more. Your silly ideas, and the release of laughter, will hopefully jump-start your minds and soon you’ll stumble across an idea that sticks. And if you still can’t think of anything, have a look at our fun stuff archives… there’s lot of neat ideas in there!
Staying on good terms.
If you (like me) are a parent that also holds down a job, then you have to remember that these few weeks off work are cramming in a lot of home and family time. Such intensity is unusual and takes getting used to. It’s therefore quite normal for you and the kids to become irate with each other at times. Don’t let that concern you. Your aim is to not let the pressure of the situation be reflected in your actions. Even if you are feeling hot and bothered, smile nicely and put your frustrations to the side. Remember that you can take a “time out” if you have to.
If it’s your child that’s acting up, let them. A good cry is the way many children clear their minds of emotional sludge, and regain their enthusiasm for life. Stay with them, listen to what a dumb day they are having, and don’t get offended if they tell you how stupid you are for whatever reason! To really get the awful feelings out, they need a safe person to serve as their target… and hopefully that’s you! Don’t worry, I promise that this is not their full and final evaluation of your parenting! It’s not. It’s just what they need to do to get the tears going strong, so they can come back to you and feel their love for you again when they have finished.
Vacations provide the chance to get connected.
The Summer holiday for us means vacation time. Whilst we can’t take annual leave for the full 6 weeks holiday period, we religiously try and get several weeks off when we can have prolonged contact with our daughter. Be aware though that this prolonged contact can sometimes result in a few insecurities coming to the fore. For example, when the family comes together and spends extended time with each other, a child’s limbic system, the seat of his or her emotions, gets the signal that life is better than usual. Feelings that don’t correspond to the closeness, the ease, or the sense of relaxation pop up, ready to be released. Those feelings, which can be held in storage for days or months or years, don’t necessarily match the present circumstances, so don’t be put out. If you’re not ready for your children’s emotional cleansing sessions, you’ll be irritated for sure. But just remember that your child’s upsets are the beginning of a summer growth spurt, and are a healthy sign that they love you and trust you to care.
So now that you know what to expect in terms of Summer behaviour, your task is to have a stash of fun activities that you and your kids can engage in over the vacation. If you are short of ideas, check out our suggestions of free fun things to do or our ideas of 15 activities for under a dollar.
Have fun!
