Sorry to say this, but the answer is: no, probably not! Hey, I’m just being honest here. For some genetically embedded reason we all think that our kids are gifted. Maybe your child walked early, maybe they were ahead of the curve when it came to speaking, perhaps they have an ability to scribble magnificent pieces of art, or have their noses constantly buried in books. C’mon, we’ve all been there, where we’ve either been extolling the virtues of own children or listening to someone do the same.
“Wow, clearly (s)he is gifted”
Or, erm, maybe not
“Gifted” has become an overly used word in the parenting lexicon. Unfortunately though, it’s also one of the most misused. The truth is that only 2% of kids are actually gifted. According to one study referred to by CNN, prodigies are rarer still, at 1 or 2 in a million. Interestingly, despite the boom in educational techniques, those numbers haven’t been increasing. The occurrence of “giftedness” is consistently rare.
So whether or not your child is gifted, parents should start with the basics. All children need to feel loved and cherished. Having the basic needs of security and attachment met are critical for future learning. And as for stimulating a remarkable mind, most educators believe that play is the thing. Far more important than prescribed special programs or learning tools is the opportunity to explore without constraint. “When it’s fun and playful, that’s when it gets into your head” says Advisory for the National Association for Gifted Children, Robin Schader PhD.
I Think My Child Is Gifted
Of course you do. We all do. That’s part of being a parent. You think your child is the most beautiful, talented, funny, sensitive, intelligent, tough, well-rounded kid out there. That’s only natural. I’d hate to look at my kids and think that they were just… well, average! I mean seriously, what parent wants average kids? But seriously, if you really think that your little one has something unique about them then these are some anecdotal kinds of observations that can be made by parents to see if their child it gifted. (These are of course just general thoughts and are not accurate for children of all ages).
- Does (s)he read at an early age – often before five?
- Does (s)he get along well with adults or older children?
- Does (s)he have a wild imagination?
- And strong opinions?
- Does (s)he have a very good memory for details?
- Is (s)he very curious?
- And/or critical of himself or herself?
- Does (s)he ask a lot of questions?
- Does (s)he see himself or herself as “different” from the other kids?
- Does (s)he plan ahead?
- Does (s)he not always respond well to external motivation?
- Does (s)he become uninterested when things slow down?
- Is (s)he critical of himself or herself and others?
- Does (s)he understand adult jokes and stories?
- Does (s)he make good guesses at things?
- Does (s)he have a well-developed sense of right and wrong?
- And likes to learn for the sake of learning?
- Might (s)he be experiencing discipline issues at school; especially at staying focused?
- Does (s)he have a well-developed vocabulary?
If your child exhibits some or several of these characteristics, you might want to consider getting some professional advice/testing to identify if your child is gifted. But please don’t drive yourself (and your child) crazy by overdoing it. If your kid is truly gifted then simply exposing them to different experiences will help get the developmental juices flowing. I mean, I know my kids are gifted, but the best thing I can do is give them the gift of time with me. Playing, reading, bonding and having fun. So relax and just get the basics right, because without that, what’s the point?
Some practical tips. Here’s a quotation I sometimes use to show the trouble with trying to define giftedness:
“It’s a rare parent who can see his or her child clearly and objectively. At a school board meeting I attended . . . the only definition of a gifted child on which everyone in the audience could agree was ‘mine.’” – Jane Adams, I’m Still Your Mother, ch. 4 (1994).
TJM
~Chairman, Parent Affiliates, and Consultant, Illinois Association for Gifted Children
~Member, Illinois State Board of Education Advisory Council on the Education of Gifted and Talented Children
~Member, Chicago Area Mensa Gifted Children Committee
Hi Terry, I like that quote (and it’s not one I’d heard before). It’s especially appropriate because it infers that the behaviour of a parent shouldn’t change whether the child is indeed “gifted” or not. Thinking that your child is gifted inevitably leads to the question of what to do about it. The reality is, though, that good parenting technique is consistent and the same rules apply whatever the context; loving, nurturing, playing, interacting, and stimulating. Get that right, and you can’t go wrong!