Here’s the thing… parents often feel so much pressure to do everything right by their children that they quite easily forget to take care of their own needs. But if all you do is spend your days giving all you have to your children, you’re going to end up “bunt out”.
I think that part of the challenge is coming to terms with our needs. Parents are all too ready to give up themselves for their children. That’s perfectly natural. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do (including taking the proverbial bullet for my kids). So self-sacrifice seems to be built in to a parents psyche. In general, this is an important part of becoming a parent; the understanding that your children become your priority. There is, however, something fundamental that many of us are missing. That is; to ensure our kids are consistently taken care of, we need to take care of ourselves first.
Parents Who Take Care Of Themselves Have Healthier Kids
I know from personal experience that when I give too much of myself I actually end up being less effective in my parenting duties. So, whilst time spent on myself sometimes feels selfish, ironically it helps me be a better parent. Put it this way; being constantly stressed out is not healthy. Stress leads to sickness and a sick parent has a much harder time than those who are well and healthy.
Top 8 Signs That You Are Not Taking Care Of Yourself
1. You find yourself borrowing your partner’s cologne/perfume because you’ve run out of yours (I actually did this the other week and ended up going to work smelling like flowers on a summer’s day!)
2. You haven’t set foot in the gym or done any exercise for longer than you’d care to remember.
3. You haven’t hired a baby sitter for over a year!
5. Your doctor/dentist doesn’t recognize your name and doesn’t have any information on their files about you (they updated their system in the 90s and you probably slipped through the gaps).
6. Your idea of a treat is eating raw cookie dough (which you stash at the back of the fridge… we do this in our household – cookie dough, yum!)
7. You use gift money/vouchers from your last birthday to buy your kids that much needed pair of shoes.
8. Once a worldwide traveler, you are seriously considering cashing in your air miles for a family vacation to Disneyworld.
OK, I confess, I’m writing about myself here. But I’m sure I’m not alone!
To Give Children The Best, Parents Should Be Their Best
It’s well documented that if you exercise, if you are healthy, if you have a well balanced work/life schedule that you will be happier in the home. And happy parents make for happy kids. I’m not saying one size fits all, of course not, so each parent should think first about what makes them happy and what they need to incorporate into their lives to make sure they are caring for themselves appropriately. For one it could mean cutting back on work hours, for another it could mean taking up guitar lessons, and for another it may be to go out for a run or swim a couple of times a week.
Just remember that if parents are feeling content, positive and loving, then it will be an upbeat mood that affects everyone in the home. A manager of a company sets the tone for how the organization will work, and his or her actions or inactions filter down and affect everyone. The same goes for parents in a family.
