OK, let’s not beat around the burning bush here; I do believe in God (not an old bearded man in a white gown mind you) and my “religion” brings me great comfort and joy, for the most part. But were you to ask me if children need religion in order to grow up healthy, happy, and moral? My response: no way!
Religion is not necessary to teach children about morality. Whilst Atheists may not teach all the same values and moral principles to their children as religious theists, there is still bound to be a great deal of overlap as long as the parenting is sound. Atheists may rely upon any number of different foundations for morality, but as long as we teach our children about concepts of love, compassion, understanding, honesty, meritocracy and empathy I don’t think we need be too concerned about where God does (or doesn’t) come in.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that if you are teaching children about wrong and right based on the alleged command of a deity, this is actually far inferior than teaching a child to reason out moral dilemmas… and such reasoning is a vital skill in today’s society.
Nor is religion necessary for explaining who we are and why we are here. As Richard Dawkins says: “Innocent children are being saddled with demonstrable falsehoods. It’s time to question the abuse of childhood innocence with superstitious ideas of hellfire and damnation. Isn’t it weird the way we automatically label a tiny child with its parents’ religion?”
To be honest, I’m not a big fan of Dawkins, but I do concede to a number of his ideals; not least, that of bringing children up to be unbiased and open-minded. At the same time, however, structure, explanations, and comfort are also important in a child’s life and placing this into the context of “bigger universal power” can help children (and parents) bring meaning and purpose into their lives. These are all good things and this is where religion – at least for my reckoning – can play a key role in raising children.
All that being true, the question then is one of balance. Teaching your child basic religious principles from infancy is a fine thing to do. Nor can I find fault in bringing them up without religion but instead a sense of belonging and of valuing a strong set of ethical standards. Neither is better than the other. Besides, let’s face it; eventually your children will reach an age when they are accountable for their own beliefs.
So what are we trying to achieve through conveying our ideas of God (or not)? Hopefully, with the right grounding, your children will go out into the world and weigh what you’ve taught them against what they perceive reality and truth to be, and they will make their own decisions from then on. And yes, it is statistically proven that if you teach religion to your child it does make them more likely to “choose” your religion in later life. However, that’s not always the case. My own mum chose a different religion to that she was brought up with. (Maybe that’s why I was lucky enough to have an upbringing where I was taught about all religions, without bias or coercion).
When all is said and done, every religion I know of requires its members to make their own personal decision. The idea of compulsion in religion is not encouraged. If teaching a child from infancy in the ways of a particular religion keeps them from making their own personal decision later in life, then something isn’t right. This in effect amounts to indoctrination or propaganda, none of which do any good for the child. If, however, teaching the child from infancy simply strengthens their convictions but still gives them room to make a conscious decision later in life, then we see that there is nothing wrong with teaching religious principles from childhood.
Once again, it comes down to balance. Whether you do or don’t bring your children up as part of a religious denomination, the principles of love, compassion, empathy, patience, understanding and honesty always remain true. If we had a society based on those pillars alone, I believe we’d be living in something close to paradise.
This is a great post. I think you said it best when you said it comes down to balance.
I disagree! Children definitely should be taught about God. Children need God just as much as adults do to be complete. God not only has a great purpose for each one of us but, He, afterall, is the ultimate truth and maker of all the principles of love, compassion etc that you mention.
I was brought up in a Christian home and have never felt manipulated or indoctrinated. When it came to making my own decision to be a Christian or not, I am very grateful to my parents for helping me learn from an early age how to have a relationship with God. Starting from scratch would have been much more difficult. Being taught ‘religion’ as you say hasn’t limited my understanding of different viewpoints out there. I am aware of how other people live and their choices just as much as you would be and do tend to think of myself and accepting and open minded.
All in all, what kind of hypocrite would I be if I practice one thing and teach my children another? I will definitely be teaching my children about the love of the God who created them.
Hi Susan,
Thanks for your response.
Maybe I didn’t make myself clear because I wasn’t saying that children shouldn’t be taught about god. Quite the contrary; I’m all for education and the more we can teach our children, the better. What I said was I don’t think children need religion in order to grown up healthy, happy, and moral.
There are a couple of points that I want to raise in response to your post. First and foremost I think your point that “children need God… to be complete” isn’t fair and I personally know a number of Atheists whose children are just as complete as any other kids.
Second, I think it’s perfectly rational to have a belief system and yet still teach your children about the merits of all faiths, without bias and without coercion. This doesn’t make you a hypocrite. If anything, it promotes an understanding of the varieties that makes the world an interesting and beautiful place.
Susan, it’s nice to have you visit our site and thanks for sharing your views. I hope you’ll continue to drop by.
Hi Dodi,
I still beg to differ. Though, perhaps I have a different perspective on what ‘religion’ is as I don’t consider myself religious. But before we end up arguing over trivial things, I think I’ll leave it here!
Cool wee site you’ve set up
xx