To Spank Or Not To Spank

Knowing the difference between discipline and punishment is crucial and, as a parent, how do we know what is appropriate… and when? Many different schools of thought about how to discipline children exist among parents and childcare experts today, but what they all have in common is the desire to teach children to act appropriately and responsibly.

While punishment is simply imposing something unpleasant on someone who has done something wrong, discipline involves instruction. When parents discipline a child, they are sending the signal that the child’s actions were wrong, but they also instruct the child in why their actions were wrong.

Discipline Teaches Children Right from Wrong:

The main goal of disciplining children is to teach them right from wrong. More specifically, when disciplining a child it should always be made clear:

·         What action in particular is causing the child to be disciplined.

·         Why the action was wrong or inappropriate.

·         What more appropriate options could be selected next time.

·         Why it is important to respect others and their property.

·         Why it is important to behave appropriately and responsibly.

Discipline Should Be Consistent:

One of the biggest mistakes parents make when disciplining their children is that they become inconsistent. Instead, be sure to discipline children to an extent that is in proportion to their actions. It is also important to avoid “giving in” to crying and temper tantrums. Remain calm while disciplining children and remind them that you are disappointed in their actions, not in them. Similarly, ensure that you discipline each time the action occurs. Conversely, make sure you praise children when their actions are appropriate.

It is equally important to recognize the good behaviour as well as disciplining the bad.

When children misbehave, it is important that adults know how to handle the situation. Knowing how you will react when a rule is broken is almost as important as establishing the rule itself. The next time your children misbehave, try one of these popular methods of discipline:

Time Out – A modern favourite, “time out” occurs when a child is acting inappropriately and needs to be separated from the situation. Being put in a “time out” chair, step or rug takes the child away from the actions and gives parents a chance to speak to him/her quietly and calmly.

Cause and Effect – Also known as “natural causes,” this method helps children understand the consequences of their actions. If they insist on dumping their paint in the back garden, they will be told how the paint can harm the natural environment and shown why what they are doing is wrong.

Parents’ Rules – Sometimes called “logical consequences,” this method shows children that parents will become actively involved if they misbehave. While not taking a bath may not provoke immediate consequences of any kind for children, it will mean that their parents decree that they can not attend the birthday party tomorrow due to their dirty state.

No more paint to play with (Revoke Privileges) – Sometimes in order to gain children’s attention it becomes necessary to change their lifestyle. Revoking a particular item, such as a toy or video, or a privilege, such as staying up to watch a favourite show, will often seem so severe to a child that they will understand how inappropriate their behaviour has been.