Bullying At School

Does the word “bully” evoke an image of a tough, muscular boy beating up on a skinny kid on a school playground? Despite the popular perception that only boys are playground and bus bullies, girls’ involvement in bullying is just as common and visible — and with equal emotional and social consequences.

Over half of all children suffer bullying at school. It is therefore nonsense to think it won’t happen to you or your children. Do your research on bullying now before the bullying starts. According to professor of educational leadership at Argosy University, “middle schools in city areas record that nearly 50% of students will be exposed to bullying of some sort, and of that number, nearly half again will involve one girl picking on another.”

Bullies are nearly always cowards, who pick on someone who is physically less strong than themselves. The usual motivation behind bullying is simple; to increase the social status of the bully, whilst feeding the perpetrators drivers (whether that be jealousy, a need for attention, anger and/or fear).

As a society we instil in children the inappropriateness of using violence, often punishing them with violence for being violent. In a bullying situation, responsible adults often become critical of children for not responding to violence with violence by saying “why don’t you just stand up for yourself?” Schools have a legal obligation called a “duty of care” to protect children from danger and this duty of care cannot be abdicated and denied by blaming the target of bullying for not standing up for themselves.

So, what can be done to help curtail bullying at the school level? There are a number of measures schools across the UK have implemented, such as the use of close-circuit television and frequent intervention by school guidance counselors and school resource officers. “Teens can oftentimes have a vengeance towards one another, and it requires a team approach to resolve,” says Professor Niblock, Headmaster of Oxford Middle School. Some schools even have a “zero-tolerance” policy on bullying, and require every student to sign an anti-bullying contract that is referred to during mediation and discipline procedures.

According to Professor Niblock, the middle school at which he works enforces a “first come, first heard” rule. “Students are told that if they are participating in or retaliating in an incident of harassment or bullying and are called to the office, the policy is going to favour the reporter. This measure has increased incidences of reporting and minimized the acts of bullying that happen on a daily basis.”

How then can we combat bullying?

For children being bullied:

The first and most important step is to report the bullying and harassment to parents and school officials. You may feel shame, embarrassment, guilt and fear. This is normal, but misplaced. The bullies stimulate these as part of trying to control you. Overrule these feelings. Tell a trusted parent immediately and formulate a plan of action. Get hold of leaflets, pamphlets and books on dealing with bullying at school. Read everything you can. Knowledge is power.

Never ignore bullying. Instead, refuse to engage and refuse to respond to the bullies’ provocation. Learn to recognise bullying as soon as it starts. Early recognition is the key to a successful outcome. Recognise that you have a right not to be bullied, harassed, assaulted or abused. Understand that the accusations, allegations, criticisms, taunts etc that the bullies make are all false and are a projection of the bullies’ own weaknesses, shortcomings, wrongdoings and failings. Sometimes, the bully’s accusations can contain a grain of truth. That is there to fool you into thinking the whole accusation has validity, which it does not. The bullies criticisms, allegation, accusation, taunts etc have no validity whatsoever. It is important to understand this.

For parents of children being bullied:

Don’t expect your children to tell you they are being bullied; bullies intimidate their targets into staying silent with threats of violence which they will carry out. Talk to your children about bullying, explain the dynamics, and tell them to tell you as soon as it starts. Tell them you will always discuss things with them first and agree courses of action before doing anything.

Learn to recognise the signs of your child being bullied … damage or loss of clothes and possessions, school avoidance, changes in speech patterns, changes in sleeping patterns, changes in diet, changes in academic performance, secretiveness, uncommunicativeness, bed wetting, sullenness, changes in routines, etc.

Parents should take a proactive step in helping their children by watching and observing emotional signs and body language. When kids appear sullen, secretive, and moody, many parents attribute these behaviours to normal hormonal changes and adolescent rebellion. However, these may well be symptoms that a child is a victim of bullying. School absences, anxiety, depression and long-term mental health concerns can all be consequences of bullying.

If you’ve taken all necessary steps and the school hasn’t dealt with the bullies, it may be time to think about legal action. Any school which forces children to endure bullying (by failing to deal with bullies and by failing to expel them) might be prosecuted under the Human Rights Act for exposing children to degrading treatment.